I'm not exactly sure how to start this entry...so much has been going on lately. In a previous entry, I shared with you how God has been teaching me to be submissive and obedient even when life isn't what I expected it would be. Looking back, He was teaching me these things before a whole slew of things were thrown at me. Some of them not completely personal, but my heart still aches for those going through them. I shared with you all about Joey. He is now with Jesus in Heaven....which is all of our eternal home for those who believe in Him. Though we are thrilled Joey is in Heaven, there is an undeniable pain that those close to him are going through here on earth. Please continue to pray for Bethany and his family.

I have also shared with you about a dear friend of mine, Erin, who has cancer. She is still fighting and will continue to do so, but things are very hard and scary for her right now. She is confident in her salvation and her eternal destination.

I am also burdened by others close to me..family and friends who are really struggling right now.

On the other hand, I have some dear friends who are on their mountain tops....blessed marriages, children, children on the way, great jobs, blessed friendships.....just feel very blessed.

I'm not sure why God allows some of us to undergo such heartache. I don't know why some of us will experience things that some people will never experience in their lifetime. These past few weeks, I have really been wrestling with God...trying to figure out His mystery. Although I can not completely understand, I do know that I trust Him. I believe in Him. So, I continue to press on and fight...having faith and hope.

The following scriptures have really spoken to me. If you are in a valley, I pray God will speak to you through these scriptures as well. If you are on your mountaintop, treasure it....don't take it for granted.

Psalm 13

How long, o LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.


Psalm 71

For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you. (vs. 5-6)

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. (vs. 14-15)

Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. (vs. 19-21)

Hey,

Here is the latest update on Joey...Thanks so much for all of your prayers. Please continue to pray for Bethany and their entire family.

"the results of the cerebral perfusion test showed that there is no blood flow to joey's brain. the family is saying their goodbyes to joey and then they are coming home. joey had wanted to be an organ donor so that process will begin."

Sarah

Hey! Hope you all had a great weekend! My small group and I went back to WV for a Beth Moore conference which was amazing!! Friday night, when we got there, we found out that a brother from my home church was in a serious car accident. He suffered severe brain trama and several broken bones. His wife, Bethany is 4
months pregnant. Joey is currently a youth minister at a church in Point Pleasant, WV. Bethany's parents go to my home church.

Friday night after the session, about 30 people from my church went to the hospital and prayed with the family. The next day at the Beth Moore conference, Beth read this request for Joey out loud and 11,000 women and men said his name and we all prayed for him. It was SO powerful.

I talked to mom last night and she said the latest was his brain levels were down to a 19 (they need to be 15 or below). His pupils are responding. They are keeping him heavily sedated so that he will not wake up and cause any brain activity.

I know you all don't know Joey, but I am asking that you please pray for him, his family, Bethany and her parents. He is surrounded by a family of believers who are prayer warriors. Brent, Bethany's dad, had a sticker put on the back of his truck when I first got diagnosed that says "Pray for Sarah" and hasn't to this day taken it off. Some of the stories I have heard surrounding that sticker on his truck have
brought me to tears and has been very humbling. I say that because these are people who think of others first before themselves. I am overwhemled with wanting to rally around them with prayer.

So, I'm asking that you join me in lifting this family up in prayer.

Thanks,
Sarah

Yes, I'm back here again. Sunday I got sick and ended up in the ER (2nd time in two weeks). My mom made the trip to DC and took me home on Tuesday. She took me away so I would rest. I'm doing a little better, but have still gotten sick these past couple of days. Today I'm going to the doctor to get hydrated...hopefully that will help. I had to cancel my trip to Kansas....I'm really sad about that. However, the thought of traveling makes me tired, so I guess it's better that I do it another time. I have to admit that I was really resistant about coming here since there is so much to do at work, but now that I am here and getting used to the slower pace, I'm glad my mom kidnapped me....haha...jk. I don't think I realized how tired my body was until I slowed down a bit. It is so easy to tell yourself to keep going, but eventually it will catch up to you, as I'm finding out. So, for the next week, I'm just going to take it easy. I think I still have a ways to go when it comes to learning how to rest, but I'm trying. It's easier to do here...that's for sure. I have so much going on in my head right now...I am trying to listen to God's voice and direction, so you can pray for me in this area. I'm going to go try to sleep some more...hope all of you are having a great week!

:)
Sarah

It's been a while....I apologize. Things here have been busy, but good. I'll go ahead and give you some updates and then dive into the title of today's entry! :) July has been busy with work. We have had a couple of mission teams here. One from California that did a one day VBS/cookout (vacation bible school) with our kids. We took 7 kids to DCLA (a young leaders conference in DC) over the 4th. My papaw and christina came to visit that same weekend. Teh following weekend my mom, julie's mom, kate, kelsie and makenzie came for a visit. We had another team from California with us last week. They didn't work with the kids but assisted us with a lot of work projects that needed to be done in the community and in our house. My parents are coming today for the weekend and then I'm going to WV this Monday for a week to visit! Woohoo!! I really can't wait for that. My goal is to spend a lot of quality time with family. Something I often don't get to do when I'm home. I'm pumped too because my mom and aunt have asked me what I want to eat when I'm home and well....if you know my family at all....we eat...and we eat GOOD food! I booked a flight to visit my cousin cassie in Kansas for the end of August. I've never been to Kansas, so I'm really looking forward to that. Emmy is also going and this is the first time in a while that all 3 of us have been together for a chunk of time. We used to have a week every year at the beach w/ our families, so hopefully we'll get back to that next year! Over Labor Day there are about 50 people going camping at Summersville Lake in WV, mostly all from my church back home. That is always fun and this year Julie and Hutch and Julie's family are going, so that will be lots of fun. I'll be sure to put up pictures from my upcoming WV trip, the Kansas trip and the lake trip. My doctor is giving me the month of August off from chemo!!! As you can see, I'm trying to take advantage of that and do as much as I can during that month. Mocha is doing good (my dog). She's huge and sometimes drives me crazy, but she is a sweet dog and very loyal to me, Julie and Hutch.

So, what about the title? I get asked this question a lot. What is God teaching you through this cancer journey? I've mentioned some major things before...patience, trust and learning to shift my focus to the blessings of each day. God and I have a pattern when it's time to learn something profound. He always seems to withdrawl me from the world for an unknown amount of time. My desire to be in the Word and talk to Him is so strong that I don't even want to leave the house and go out into the world. Or I'll be out somewhere and just want to rush home so that I can spend time with Him. Honestly, I don't have this urgency all the time (365 days a year). It seems to happen in chunks. So, for example, during this past month, I have been experiencing one of these times. I absolutely love when God does this. The Sunday after we got back from the beach, I heard one of the most profound sermons I have ever heard in my life. I know God uses different venues to reach people and to have things resonate with them at different points in their life, and this was one of those instances for me. I would highly encourage you to listen to this sermon (not because it meant so much to me, but because it just might resonate with you as well, and change your life!)... It's on my church's website: www.mcleanbible.org Click on "Latest Sermon Audio" and it's The Life Of Moses part 20. It's actually not about Moses at all (he takes a detour this week) and talks about God's Glory and How we can glorify God.


After this sermon and meditating on God's truth about all this, it really started to hit me. Am I really allowing God to be Lord of EVERY area of my life? The answer to that question was no. I still have things that I hold on to. For example, I NEVER in a million years thought I would be at the place I am now at 27 (physical location, spiritually, emotionally and physically (the whole cancer thing), but am coming to realize that all of these things are God's ordained plan for my life and somehow that fits into the big overall plan that God has to ultimately bring Glory to Him. I don't know if any of this is making any sense, but what I am learning is that a surrendered life means really surrendering it...not just one part of it, but the whole thing. Even if life isn't what I pictured it would be at 27, I am learning and am in the process of learning how to submit to the ultimate plan and will of God and to the lordship of Christ. All the while realizing that I was created to bring Him glory and learning to submit to whatever purposes and experiences I have to go through to accomplish that. I love this phrase my frontline pastor used the other night in one of his sermons: "In the end, EVERY knee will bow- those who submit and those who rebel." For me, I have made the decision to live a surrendered life (with the help of God) and to bend my knee everyday in full submission. I might be called a "Jesus freak, weirdo, or who knows what" for writing all this, but I don't care. I am so in awe and humbled to see what God has been doing in my life over these past few weeks that I felt compelled to write it down...and yes, if you are looking at the time posted, it is correct...4:54 in the morning. I layed in bed for an hour before finally getting up to write this..I am having a hard time sleeping tonight.

So, I'm now going to try to sleep again. Tomorrow is a chemo day and my parents are coming. I'm really looking forward to the next week with them! Thanks for taking the time to read this...I hope it made some sense.

love your guts:)
sarah