first of all, i am sorry for the delay in entries. i realized today that i haven't written on here in a long time. let me quickly catch you up to speed...the holidays with my family were priceless. i always enjoyed family events, but since my illness, i've grown to treasure them in a whole new light.

an update on the cancer journey: last semester after i finished my second round of chemo, i had a hard time bouncing back. i just never felt like i did after my first round of chemo. i just thought that maybe getting hit a second time was harder on my body, and it might have been. in august of last year, i was walking around daybreak and the left side of my body felt really strange, so much so that i decided to go the er that night (which i normally am very stubborn and won't call the doctor or go the doctor). my doctor ordered an mri of the brain and everything was fine. however, i continued to feel "not right" last semester. experiencing such things as being dizzy a lot, feeling spacy, several occasions where the left side of my body would feel weird and some light headaches. so, the first of december i was scheduled for some minor surgery, but i wanted to make sure i was ok to go ahead with the procedure because i had not been feeling right. my doctor ordered another mri of the brain and this time there was a small lesion that lit up on the scan. i came home and i saw a whole slew of doctors in huntington and then we went to the kentucky clinic at uk and saw some more doctors. we scheduled the brain surgery called the gamma knife (it's brain surgery without a knife) for the 23rd of january.

the sunday before my scheduled gamma knife procedure, i had a seizure that left my left side of my body paralyzed. the brain tumor had more than doubled in size and there was a moderate amount of brain swelling. but don't worry, all of my feeling is back and i am doing better each day. i was in the hospital at home until they transported me by ambulance to uk for the surgery. the surgery went well and they got it all out! i am now walking without the walker. i am wobbly, but that will get better, too. i also apologize if this is hard to read....i'm probably making a lot of mistakes.

so, the blessing in all of this is the power of prayer and the body of believers that pick you up and carry you through a rough time. i am so grateful for all the prayers, love and support i have recieved these past two years. it doesn't go unnoticed and words are not enough to describe the fullness in my heart. i wish there were some way i could repay you all for everything you have done for me.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster. Losing someone you love is never an easy thing. Erin was such a beautiful person, inside and out. The amount of people that came to support the family was evidence of the impact that she had on those around her. She was an encourager and her favorite word was "hope." I've posted it on here before, but one of her favorite scriptures was...."but as for me, I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more" (Psalm 71:14). I'm so thankful that we can rest in the assurance that she is in heaven. Jesus says in John 11:25, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die."

The circumstances of life can seem to overwhelm us at times. We experience a variety of emotions because we are not in our eternal dwelling place. For those who believe in Jesus, the pain and sorrow will no longer exist in heaven.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Our earthly home is temporary. We must press on and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and remember that "everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." -Romans 15:4-6

Below is the obituary for Erin. Thanks for praying....

http://www.timeformemory.com/fh_obituary.cfm?obitid=26795&fhid=17&locationid=17

I woke up to the phone ringing this morning. I saw who it was and just knew it wasn't going to be the news I wanted to hear. She passed last night around 2 a.m. Her frail body left us here and she met Jesus. No more pain, no more tears...for her...I'm thankful for that. We are left here to keep enduring as we have been called to do...our eyes focused on Jesus. My heart is heavy, but at the same time comforted knowing where she is. I asked someone the other day why we had prayed so much for her and it kept getting worse. Then I was asked a question....what is God's definition of healing? Is it healing in "our" terms (restored back to a normal healthy life) or healing in God's terms (maybe His choice of healing her is to have her come home). I don't have many words right now. The words below are from a Chris Rice song called "Come to Jesus". If you'd like to listen, it's playing on my myspace page.



Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!


Erin is in Glory now....

check them out!