there really is not much new to share with you
tonight. today was very much like yesterday for
sarah beth. she continues to have long periods of
apnea and short periods of breathing. she slept
quietly again today, very little agitation or sign
of discomfort. mark and kathleen, jason and jeremy
are resting when they are able. our family spends
the time together, much of it at sarah's bedside.
her body is worn out. it is doing a lot of work to
keep her here. we may never know all of the
reasons why God is letting her linger as she is.
we may never know ANY of the reasons. but as i've
said before, and as sarah beth has said before, we
don't have to know all the answers to be able to
trust God in this situation. in any situation, for
that matter. it comes down to faith. can we
believe in God to be working out all things as
they are supposed to be? can we trust that He
loves us and is constantly with us - that He's not
distant, that He doesn't just peek in on us every
now and then to make sure things are moving along
okay? our experience with Him says we can. and we
are.
life brings a lot our way - to our family, to your
family, to all of us as individuals. it can be
exhausting. part of the beauty of a relationship
with God through Jesus Christ is not having to be
alone in it all. He stays in it with us. that's
the promise we have. not that things will be easy
or that horrible situations won't touch us, but
that He will be there in the thick of it with us.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with
you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do
not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
(deuteronomy 31:8)

===========================
from sarah beth, april 20, 2007

"So, what is faith? Faith is believing in the
unknown, trusting in what you can't see. Hebrews
11:6 says "Without faith it is impossible to
please God, because anyone who comes to him must
believe that he exists and that he rewards those
who earnestly seek him." To put it simply: Faith
pleases God.

Some of you reading this might not have a
relationship with God at all. Some of you may have
heard of God and acknowledge that He exists, but
haven't made the relationship personal. Some of
you may have accepted Jesus, but have not made the
relationship personal. Some of you may be walking
with Jesus and living your life for Him. All
circumstances require fatih. If you don't know who
God is, I encourage you to take a step of faith
and start seeking Him. You might be reading this
and have been experiencing inner turmoil, or have
been having this tug at your heart that something
is missing. I beg you to take a step of faith and
pray...asking God to reveal to you who He is and
why you were created. I can promise you that if
you seek Him with all your heart He will reveal
Himself!"

=================================
thank you, as always, for lifting sarah beth up to
God in prayer. thank you for all of the ways you
are showing support to our family.

we are praying for you, too. in particular those
of you who may be sensing that God is after your
heart.

with our love,
leigh ann

sarah beth's condition is worsening. she is still
laboring to breathe, and continues to have apnea.
but her pain seems to be under control, and her
periods of agitation were minimal today. this is a
blessing - it is difficult to see her experience
any sort of discomfort. she slept today. to my
knowledge, there were no times of wakefulness. we
are continuing to pray, to sit with her and talk
to her, touch her and comfort her. i think in
doing all of these things we are also comforting
ourselves to a degree.

daily, we are hearing stories of how knowing of
sarah's own story has made an impact on the lives
of others - how God has drawn someone to Himself
when that person was encouraged by sarah to seek
the Lord. make no mistake, God does the work. but
He invited sarah beth to work with Him, and she
answered with a firm "YES." the fact that she is
still working for God in her current state and
from a hospice bed is proof of God's power. proof
that what sarah has done for the Lord - what each
of us does for the Lord - has effects that are
far-reaching. results that will last for
generations. it doesn't make all of this make
sense but it does help to bring some realization
of a reason for it. even though we may never know
specifics about what that reason (or those
reasons) might be. if you know God's character,
remind yourself that, among so many other things,
He is unchanging - the same God today that spoke
the world into being - He is constant. He can be
trusted. believed. held tightly to.

======================================

from sarah beth, october 25, 2006
"I'm not sure why God allows some of us to undergo
such heartache. I don't know why some of us will
experience things that some people will never
experience in their lifetime. These past few
weeks, I have really been wrestling with
God...trying to figure out His mystery. Although I
can not completely understand, I do know that I
trust Him. I believe in Him. So, I continue to
press on and fight...having faith and hope."

=======================================

praying with you for sarah beth,
leigh ann

from september 21, 2007

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not
consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are
new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I
say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore
I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those
whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.” –
Lamentations 3:21-25
========================

first just a little something to note: there are
some of you reading this who are new to sarah's
blog. please start at the beginning..go back to
2005 and read her journey in her own words. i am
not sarah beth - i am her aunt leigh ann. i'm
updating her blog for her as i promised her a long
time ago. it's been my job (i prefer the words
honor or privilege) when she has been unable to do
it herself.

and now to sarah beth. today was much like
yesterday. her periods of apnea continue to
lengthen. apart from a short time of being awake
after her bath, she has been sleeping. while she
was awake today, she seemed agitated- emotional.
we reassured her of our presence, and of God's
presence with her. we talked about those we love
who are in heaven waiting for her. greg read
several passages from the Bible to her about
peace, about the Lord being with us and being our
rescue. sarah loves scripture. and hearing it did
seem to help calm her. we continue to gather
together around her. i know it's important that
she knows we are near, most especially that her
mom, dad and brothers are there. and it's so
important to us to be able to be with her. in
walking through this together, the support we're
able to give to one another is a tremendous
blessing. thank you God for family and friends.
they make even the unthinkable bearable. and thank
you God for walking with us, even carrying us
through. not one of us could do this without you,
Lord.
==============================

from sarah beth, may 19, 2007:

"I encourage you, wherever you are, to hold on and
keep pressing forward. You may not understand the
circumstances of life or why you are in the place
you are in, but God does and He will show you
where to go, if you allow Him to work. Give Him
your everything."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly
we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being
renewed day by day. For our light and momentary
troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes
not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For
what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is
eternal."

sarah beth has not lost heart. outwardly she is
wasting away. inwardly, she is renewed day by day.
her troubles, though in our humanness they seem
neither light nor momentary, are continuing to
achieve for her eternal glory. she has fixed her
eyes in faith on what she could not see. this
wasting away will not last forever. and her faith
will be sight. i say this about sarah beth now
because the time of her faith being sight seems to
be nearer than ever before. but it applies to all
of us who belong to the Lord Jesus.

sarah is still having periods of apnea, and they
are lengthening. when she is breathing, her
breaths are shallow. her color isn't good. and
kathleen and i think her pulse feels weaker. but
she is still here with us - the Lord is keeping
her here for reasons only He knows fully. we do
know that she is still being used of God to make
an impact on the lives of others. people are still
being introduced to her blog and her walk with God
through her entries here. and without doubt she is
making an impression on the precious people caring
for her now. we have no way to know exactly why
God lets her linger. but we can trust His timing
without understanding it.

sarah beth has always been a special girl. an
amazing young woman. and we love her with all of
our hearts. but what has made her most amazing
isn't just what or who she is on her own. it's the
way she has surrendered herself to be used of God.
the decisions she has made to live her life to
point other people to God - to show them what a
life lived for God's glory looks like. to
demonstrate that it really is possible to hold on
to your faith even when you don't get what you'd
planned on. and even when you get a nightmare you
never asked for.

2 Corinthians 4:5,7-10
"Remember, our Message is not about ourselves;
we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we
are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for
you...If you only look at us, you might well miss
the brightness. We carry this precious Message
around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary
lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing
God's incomparable power with us. As it is,
there's not much chance of that. You know for
yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've
been surrounded and battered by troubles, but
we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do,
but we know that God knows what to do; we've been
spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our
side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't
broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—
trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus
did among them, he does in us— he lives!"

He lives in us. that's where our hope comes from.
He is so faithful.

it's not possible to close without thanking you
again for praying. THANK YOU.

leigh ann

sarah beth napier is a fighter. more than that,
she is a warrior. this isn't new information, of
course, we've known that for a long time. but she
proves it over and over and over again, day in and
day out. her body continues to weaken but her
spirit is strong. she had a better night last
night, and slept the majority of the day today.
but once again, God poured some extra grace down
on us and gave us more sarah beth time with her
eyes open and following us. how many "one more
time" moments are we allowed? we are able to tell
her of our love for her, and although she isn't
using her voice anymore, she has become a master
of nonverbal communication. she has been using
just a few facial expressions, one of which is a
definite "i love you too" blink. and we cherish
each effort she makes. as much of a family person
as sarah is, it has to be incredibly frustrating
for her to be so limited in communicating with us.
but once again she's looking a limitation in the
face and daring it to stop her. no way to know how
many more of these times we will have with her, or
if there will be any more at all. but i can speak
for us all in saying we know they come from God
and we are grateful for what He's given. His love
never fails, never leaves, always provides.

when sarah beth blinked the "i love you too" my
way today, i was thinking of how much i miss her
voice. i've been remembering hearing her sing, and
thought of a song that i've loved hearing from her
in recent years. it's a song she loves, called
"the love of the Lord endures", by joy williams.

=======================
In all that I have found
Your evidence abounds
I’ve always sensed Your fingerprints
If I just look around

And yet this grand display
Will all soon pass away
So I hold on to the mighty truth
That Your love is here to stay
The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there’s one thing I can be sure
It’s that the love of the Lord endures

Life has let me down
In wealth, joy can’t be found
I’ve searched for peace in all of these
But I have always found
The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there’s one thing I can be sure
It’s that the love of the Lord endures

When I stumble
When I fall
When I’m walking ten feet tall
Your love is there day after day
Even at the worst extreme
Or after I have been redeemed
Your love is there
And it won’t let me go

The love of the Lord endures
The love of the Lord endures
If there’s one thing I can be sure
It’s that the love of the Lord endures
Forever, forever

===========================

maybe another reason that it's in my mind is
because we really are at what is, in our human
minds, "the worst extreme". how beautiful to know
the Lord's love is never ending. never. it endures
forever. and we can trust His love. He will not
let us go. He will not let sarah beth go. we are
His. and we pray that you are His, too.

thank you for continuing to lift sarah beth up to
the Lord in prayer. and thank you for your prayers
for our family. i can't over-express how much we
value your devotion to this. thank you so much.

leigh ann